| Excerpt
                    from Book:   Grandpa
                    Ralph was having a very bad day. It was his very first day
                    in his new home, a nursing home. "They
                    call it Pleasant Manor. It is a very pleasant place, don't
                    you think, Mr. Jones?" his daughter-in-law had said,
                    trying to put the best possible spin on the place. She said
                    this as she and her husband, Grandpa Ralph's son, sat down
                    with him in his new room. They stayed and visited for a while
                    during this afternoon, this first afternoon in this new place,
                    this nursing home. "Well,
                    I don't think it's such a pleasant place!" Grandpa Ralph
                    had snarled, giving his best curmudgeonly face to his daughter-in-law
                    Kathleen. "Now
                    Dad," said his son Donald, "you know we all agreed
                    that this move was for the best for you. You agreed it was
                    for the best. And this is one of the nicest places in town.
                    Just look how beautifully decorated it is, and already, all
                    the staff has been so helpful and friendly." "Hmmph!-"
                    said Grandpa Ralph, "I didn't think we'd really go through
                    with it. A nursing home! Imagine that! Well I don't need it;
                    and besides, it costs an awful lot of money!" "Now
                    Dad," said Donald, "you know the finances are all
                    worked out. Just enjoy yourself- relax! You are very safe
                    here, and you have plenty of help in case you need it. And
                    look here," Donald continued as he picked up a brightly
                    colored piece of paper from the table next to Grandpa Ralph's
                    bed, "this activity calendar is full of all sorts of
                    great things to do." "I
                    just know you're going to have a lot to do, and meet a lot
                    of wonderful new friends here," Kathleen chimed in. "You
                    have to admit, it's been pretty lonely since Mrs. Jones passed
                    on." "Well,
                    we'll just see about that, missy!" Grandpa Jones thought,
                    though he didn't say it out loud. "Hmmph!" is what
                    he did say, glumly. And
                    it was after his son and daughter-in-law left, after he was
                    alone in his room, after he had a bit of time to think, that
                    he devised his plan. He would show them all that this nursing
                    home stuff was for the birds!  And
                    what was his plan? Well, it was very simple: Grandpa Ralph
                    Jones wasn't coming out of his room. They'd have to pry him
                    out with a crowbar! ©2003,
                    Michael D. Purvis |